paranoia's voice

There’s still this niggling little voice; it speaks of its own
Choice - believe me, half the time it’s not what I want to
Hear. Whispers in my ear all the little things I fear and
Then BANG I’m back to square one. Paranoid. It’s a filthy
Find inside the mind that inevitably makes you unkind
And unworthy; unstable and unsturdy. You can barely
Hold yourself up straight, never mind attempt to
Negotiate your way about a relationship. Paranoia is
Not a blip. It’s powerful enough to sink a soul, or a ship,
Powerful enough to destroy a relationship. That little
Voice, that gives you no choice but to listen.

sometimes words can't do justice

Sometimes words can’t do justice. Like when she smiles and
The world stops for a while. Or when her hand cradles your
Face and she kisses you; the feeling you overflow with when
She tells you she misses you. No, sometimes words can’t do
Justice. Like when you stick a finger to the world and kiss
Your girl, regardless of who might be watching. Or when she
Tells you she loves you and you just know, she means it, and
You think, ‘This, this is the real thing is this.’
No, sometimes words just can’t do justice.

A love poem from a basket to a hot air balloon

People told me that you were full of hot air,
That I shouldn’t let myself get carried away.
“He’ll lead you astray,” they said,
That you were bombastic with your arrogance
And big head. While they told me you didn’t
Know where you were going in life, I became
More attracted to the idea of being your wife
Because, I don’t mind being bound to a free
Spirit. You were the most colourful character
I’d ever met, and I instantly knew I’d never
Forget you. So I tied myself to you. I’ve been
Relying on you ever since and, although our
Journeys sometimes make me wince,  I know,
That you will always carry me wherever you
Go. Just like you know that after so many
Years spent bound together, we can weave
Our way through any storm or poor weather,
Because neither one of us works without the other.

babe, I can't get enough of you

Now, I’m not really a greedy or a needy person.
And when I say, ‘Come on over!’ with a smile on my face,
What I’m actually thinking is, ‘God, let me have my own space.’
But with you, things have totally changed, it’s a bit like my
Psyche has been rearranged and although I’m not a greedy
Or a needy person, babe, I can’t enough of you. I like being
On my own, I don’t function well if I’m around people all the
Time but, things have changed since you became mine; maybe
That should be, since I became yours. Either way, spending
Time with you is never a chore and that’s how I know things
Have changed. Maybe I’m being over-sentimental or outright
Deranged but this, this is something new. Babe, I can’t get
Enough of you. Now people who know me know that I’m not
Like this, and before you all read this and start taking the
Piss believe me, this is for real. The woman has made me
Feel things that are strange to me and honestly, I’m not
Entirely sure what to do. There is one thing I’m sure of
Though: babe, I can’t get enough of you.

Happiness

Happiness is somewhere between ecstatic and content,

It’s an unexpected parcel you’ve been sent,

It’s seeing a friend you haven’t seen for a year,

It’s the feeling that happens when we overcome fear.

It’s the contentment of knowing that we tried our best,

And the satisfaction of seeing an ‘A’ on that test,

It’s the side-effect of your dreams coming true,

But for me, my darling, happiness is you. 

Things that I learnt in 2012...

1. Persistence unlocks a lot of dreams.

2. The person you once loved isn’t always what they seem.

3. Writing things until 1am isn’t always a good idea.

4. You should always try your best to be the master of your fear.

5. When you think you know the answer, it’s still always best to ask.

6. Try and set yourself real goals rather than impossible tasks.

7. The worst enemy you can have is an over-active mind.

8. When you stop looking for something, it’s the first thing you’ll find.

9. If there’s one thing you can never trust, it’s the British weather.

10. When it seems like you’ve hit rock bottom, remember from there things can only get better.

11. In the average year you say hello and goodbye to an immeasurable amount of faces.

12. And you’ll always find love in the strangest of places.

I love you too?

‘I love you’

Followed by a deathly silence. A knife to the chest. An echo round the
Room that you try your best to ignore but it bounces up to the ceiling
And back down to the floor. It pounds into each ear as you patiently
Wait to hear the words in someone else’s voice. After five minutes you
Realise, they say it back because they don’t have a choice.