I'm just tired

I’m just tired. I’m working so hard on assignments that you
Read and discard as another “good piece of work”. I dream
Of revision, and approach everything with the apprehension
That one carries with them into an exam. People tell me to
Leave my exam nerves at home but I don’t think I can, even
When there is no exam in sight, I still feel like there is an
Answer that I’ll need to get right. I’m just tired. I’m trying
Constantly to be better, to push my marks up by a grade
Boundary or a letter just so someone will say, “Well done
You, we knew you could do it.” Which is a remarkable remark
For someone who didn’t have to go through it. You have so
Much faith in my ability, you never expect a disappointment
From me and that’s what makes it so tiring. I’ll dress to
Impress and cause myself distress for the sake of keeping
Other people down. For the sake of keeping other people
Content. And I’ll work with a smile, even though all the
While I’m working, I’m working with resent.